GLAD TO SEE THEY'RE PEOPLE WE CAN TRUST: You might have thought Congressmen would have better things to do with their time than attend the "Reverend" Moon declaring himself messiah:

ASHINGTON, June 23 - As a shining symbol of democracy, the United States capital is not ordinarily a place where coronations occur. So news that the Rev. Sun Myung Moon, the eccentric and exceedingly wealthy Korean-born businessman, donned a crown in a Senate office building and declared himself the Messiah while members of Congress watched is causing a bit of a stir.

One congressman, Representative Danny K. Davis, Democrat of Illinois, wore white gloves and carried a pillow holding one of two ornate gold crowns that were placed on the heads of Mr. Moon and his wife, Dr. Hak Ja Han Moon, at the ceremony, which took place March 23 and capped a reception billed as a peace awards banquet.

Mr. Davis says he held the wife's crown and was "a bit surprised'' by Mr. Moon's Messiah remarks, which were delivered in Korean but accompanied by a written translation. In them, he said emperors, kings and presidents had "declared to all heaven and earth that Reverend Sun Myung Moon is none other than humanity's Savior, Messiah, Returning Lord and True Parent.''

By Wednesday, after news of the event had been reported in the online magazine Salon and various newspapers, Capitol Hill was in full-blown backpedaling mode, as lawmakers who attended but missed the coronation - or saw it and did not think much of it - struggled to explain themselves.

"I remember the king and queen thing,'' said Representative Roscoe G. Bartlett, Republican of Maryland, "But we have the king and queen of the prom, the king and queen of 4-H, the Mardi Gras and all sorts of other things. I had no idea what he was king of.''

Others, like Senator Mark Dayton, Democrat of Minnesota, insisted they were duped and had no idea that the organization holding the reception was connected to Mr. Moon. Mr. Dayton said he attended because a constituent was being honored. He left before the crowning.

"I never saw Reverend Moon present during the time I was there,'' Mr. Dayton said. "I did not stay for any formal program.''

 
WHAT A CHAP: Donald Rumsfeld has admitted he ordered the detention of an Iraqi prisoner to be hidden from the Red Cross. Oh, darn that pesky Geneva Convention which he's broken again.

 
CUTBACKS: The HSBC - the Midland Bank - has announced its cutting 3,500 jobs from its UK operation, mainly at head office and management centres. They're aware that people might think that its a bit rich to be sacking so many people when they've just made seven billion quid profit, but have their defence ready:

"HSBC said costs in the UK were rising almost as fast as revenues, with between 2001 and 2003 income increasing by 9.8% while costs rose 8.4%. "We must make decisions now, however difficult, to manage for the future," said HSBC chief executive Michael Geoghegan."

... but if costs aren't actually rising at a faster rate than revenues, doesn't that mean that their already enormous profits are growing? So they seem to be dumping staff because of the "threat" of making even larger profits in the future. And these people are in charge of a financial company.

 
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE...: A chap from McDonalds in the UK, talking about "what went wrong with the company" has just told Today "We had no public face apart from the restaurant, and we were perhaps too happy to turn the other cheek with some of our critics..."

Turn the other cheek? Is this the same McDonalds who instigated the longest-running libel case in British history in an attempt to crush London Greenpeace? If that was them turning the other cheek, god help us if they ever go aggressively after someone...

Hmm... and apparently the chicken in the chicken salads are only 78% chicken.

 
NOTHING LIKE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE: Sorry, Europe. Really, we're so sorry...

A triumphant Robert Kilroy-Silk today said he was determined to use his new job as an MEP to "wreck" the European parliament, as he celebrated the 12-seat breakthrough won by the UK Independence party. [From the Guardian]

 
NOW, THAT'S WHAT WE CALL MANUFACTURING OUTRAGE: You have to feel a bit sorry for the Daily Mail, they were so desperate to believe that expanding Europe would lead to a massive influx of new Europeans, only it didn't happen. So the Mail flew some of their own in instead:

So, a selected group of three were given plane tickets, each worth about SKK 16,000 (a return ticket), and after their arrival in the UK, they had to arrange accommodation, board and look for a job.

It's nice to know there's a pleasing circle here: The Mail makes up stories about immigration, which sells copies, which makes profits, which it then spends flying Slovakians in to give itself something to be outraged about. The worry is, of course, what Dacre's paper will do when it gets bored with there not being any of the terror attacks in London its been warning about for three years now - presumably, using this model, the Mail will be funding someone to go down the tube with a bowl of sarin?

 
HOW POLLS WORK: The Evening Standard is predicting a "wafer thin" victory for Ken in London - erm, 53 percent to 47 percent, or six percent. Which is hardly a wafer by anyone's standards - more a Nice biscuit of thickness, we'd suggest.

 
PROVEN BY SCIENCE: What do you do when facts get in the way? You ignore, them, of course - 60 scientists, one third of whom are Nobel laureates, have accused Bush of censoring, supressing and disbanding in a bid to keep a lid on scientific advice with which it disagrees (i.e. anything that doesn't say "drill for oil anywhere you choose."

One example cited in the report involves the suppression of an Environmental Protection Agency study that found the bipartisan Senate Clear Air bill would do more to reduce mercury contamination in fish and prevent more deaths than the administration's proposed Clear Skies Act.

Does it matter? Well, yes:

Translating the ramifications of data suppression into human lives, the scientists said that if the first President Bush and former President Richard Nixon had similarly allowed politics to overrule science, more than 200,000 deaths and millions of respiratory and cardiovascular disease cases would not have been prevented with the signing of the original Clean Air Act and its 1990 amendments.

 
WITHOUT FURTHER COMMENT: From the Liverpool Echo:

Two British National Party candidates appeared in court yesterday charged with assault.
Joseph Owens, (left), who is standing for the BNP in the Norris Green area of Liverpool, appeared at Salford Magistrates' Court to deny assaulting David Robinson on March 24.
Co-defendant Tony Wentworth, who is standing in the Irwell area of Salford, denied using threatening words against Mr Robinson on the same day and assaulting Christopher Tauner the previous day.
The case was adjourned until July 12 for a pre-trial review before Salford magistrates.
Owens, 42, of Norris Green, was given unconditional bail. Wentworth, 22, of Irwell, Greater Manchester, was given conditional bail.

 
HONKING TWIT LOSES ONE OF HIS PLATFORMS: As part of Dawn Airey's campaign to try and rid Sky News of the taint of being the Sun of the airwaves, idiot loudmouth Richard Littlejohn's evening show is to be axed. Littlejohn, whose catchphrase "you couldn't make it up" is usually taken as a challenge by his Sun colleagues, is said to be proud of what the show achieved (presumably that's making Kilroy seem like a measured and sensible commentator) and pledges to concentrate on his "day job" of producing two columns for the Sun every week. Since Littlejohn hasn't actually had an original thought since sometime around Live Aid, we can only conclude that he's the world's slowest typist if it keeps him fully occupied five days a week churning out his stuff.

 
NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE ABOUT WHY WE'RE GETTING NOWHERE: Sorry for the parish pump nature of this, but it's reflective of stuff going on everywhere. We asked Virgin:

"So - let me get this absolutely clear - are you claiming that the Stratgeic Rail Authority told you to stop your trains from stopping at Milton Keynes in peak time?

And are you also claiming that Silverlink's service is of a comparable standard to the Virgin service?

Over to Mark Gartland, a customer services person at Virgin, who replied:

I can confirm that my colleague's response is correct. However, it does not claim that Silverlink trains are comparable in standard to Virgin Trains.

Which at least is an admission that MK customers are actually being forced to take a more rubbish service. And, Virgin are pointing their finger at the SRA. They may be our next port of call, then.

 
TYPICAL OF VIRGIN TRAINS: Even their customer services runs late:

Your message has been delayed and is still awaiting delivery
to the following recipient(s):

Customer.Relations@virgintrains.co.uk
(Was addressed to Customer.Relations@virgintrains.co.uk)
Message delayed


Your message is delayed
Message for domain virgintrains.co.uk delayed at virgintrains.co.uk.
Unable to deliver to domain for 18 hours.
Will continue trying for 30 hours.

We're trying to find out from Virgin why customers who live in Milton Keynes are having to accept a substandard service - the company has announced that, in future, Virgin trains won't stop at MK during rush hour, forcing MK commuters to rely on the slower Silverlink service - hitherto, Virgin has acknowledged that Silverlink run a poorer service by chraging more for their tickets; now, though, asking Virgin why they're happy for MK customers to make do with a poorer service provided by their rival, and the company seems incapable of coming up with an answer - they keep saying that "Silverlink will provide a service", rather than the all-important comparable service, or equivalent service. [Milton Keynes Citizen has also suggested that the extra (crappy, old) rolling stock being added to soak up demand won't have enough seats to cover all the people who currently use the Virgin service.

The second question - why are Virgin happy to swallow subsidies paid by MK taxpayers and yet aren't happy to offer them a decent service - is sidestepped repeatedly as well. Most recently, Mandy Wedge, customer relations rep, has told us:

The changes to services stopping at Milton Keynes are as a result of agreements within the industry between the Train Operating Companies involved and the Strategic Rail Authority. To continually improve performance and reliability stopping patterns and calling points have been revised. Virgin Trains will continue to call during off the peak hours and weekends. Exact details of the timetables are still being finalised and further information will be given

Now, we don't know if Ms Wedge really does think that a commuter stuck with a longer journey home and a longer journey to work will be thinking "Still, it all helps improve performance and reliability", but we seriously doubt it. Because, to be honest, I don't give a fuck if a train is going to have a better chance of arriving in Manchester on time by not stopping to pick me up. I'm hoping Virgin will, eventually, explain to my why it thinks that a journey a person from Milton Keynes makes is less important than a journey a person from Manchester makes, and we'll keep plugging away until we get an explanation.